Business Writing And The Evils Thereof

Yes, it's time for a spot of audience participation. Below are two different ways of phrasing a news post for an airsoft game taking place in Sweden next year. Bearing in mind that the audience is airsofters, which of the two do you think is more appropriate? Votes on a postcard... or in a comment, I suppose, if you're picky.

This...

Unpaid Tickets Deleted

We're about to delete the unpaid tickets, releasing them for booking. We'll start with the unpaid Swedish bookings, then get on to foreign bookings on Friday to allow for the longer processing time on payments from abroad. We will also be allocating some of them to people on the queue.

Those who have contacted us to let us know about delays in payment will not be removed; if you've told us your payment will be late and have been removed anyway, let us know at the usual address and it'll all be sorted out.

Oh, and we've already got through the first 75 unpaid Swedish bookings.

...or this?

Culling The Herd

It's that time again!

Once again we start the unending battle 'gainst the unpaid. Armed with holy water, stakes and flaming torches, we're about to cut yet another bloody swathe through the unpaid hordes.

We'll begin with the unpaid Swedish bookings, then get on to foreign bookings on Friday to allow for the longer processing time on payments from abroad. We'll be releasing these slots for booking, and will be allocating some of them to people on the queue.

Those who have contacted us to let us know about delays in payment will not be removed; if you've told us your payment will be late and have been removed anyway, let us know at the usual address and it'll all be sorted out. Within seconds, I tell you! Seconds! (Or at least a couple of days. Probably.)

What say you?