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Of bathrooms and bloody students
Jan. 24th, 2006 07:12 amI have an idea.
A brilliant idea, of such glowing and effervescent genius that I'm surprised nobody's thought of it so far.
Y'see, it's based on the theory that no sane person would want to find the loo in a disgusting state, and that given the option they would prefer the bathrooms, in fact, to be moderately clean. I realise this is asking a lot in a college, but it's worth a shot.
Picture the scene this morning. I enter the bathroom (which contains a toilet, a badly-constructed shower cubicle, and no sink. Handy.) and the first thing I set eyes upon in a toilet with the lid up. Not the seat, though, which is progress of a sort.
Then I glance into the shower cubicle in preparation for my ablutions and find a lump of chewing gum (at least I hope it was chewing gum) in the corner and a revolting bundle of suspiciously coarse hair in the drain. That's not counting, of course, the statutory mould in the grouting, the hideous film of soap residue on the walls and the odd sticky effect on the floor.
Oh, and while I'm whingeing, the Brits are bloody useless at building bathrooms. We have central heating in every room in the house except the bathroom. In there we have dodgy windows and cold tiles.
Perhaps I'm strange, but I would have thought the first room on your list of "rooms to install a radiator in" would be the bathroom. You know, given that it's the only room in the house where you're both kitless and soaked at once with any regularity. (Stop that giggling, at the back. I know what you're thinking of, and no, it's neither funny nor original. Yes, I am sure.) Maybe even one of those electric towel racks would be nice, but noooo.... Oh, and I particularly like the way they put the smoke detector just outside.
You know, just outside that room with the deodorant sprays and the steam.
Good, eh?
Where was I?
Oh yes, bloody students.
Yes, so my grand scheme is this:
Compulsory toilet training for those who consistently display an ignorance of this nursery school skill.
The curriculum, as I envision it, includes practical lessons on the design and function of the simple toilet seat, including a basic course on how to lower it and under which circumstances it should be lowered. It also includes a basic introduction to the deployment of the flush, which I realise is an advanced concept for some beginning students.
Next we will cover the rather advanced subject of targeting, aided by a large bottle, a length of garden hose and a dartboard. The course will then conclude with a basic course from housekeeping on how to CLEAN THE BLOODY SHOWER AFTER YOU'RE DONE DRIBBLING BLOODY REVOLTING STUFF ALL OVER IT. And yes, that is the full title of that module.
The course will then conclude with a short practical exam.
A brilliant idea, of such glowing and effervescent genius that I'm surprised nobody's thought of it so far.
Y'see, it's based on the theory that no sane person would want to find the loo in a disgusting state, and that given the option they would prefer the bathrooms, in fact, to be moderately clean. I realise this is asking a lot in a college, but it's worth a shot.
Picture the scene this morning. I enter the bathroom (which contains a toilet, a badly-constructed shower cubicle, and no sink. Handy.) and the first thing I set eyes upon in a toilet with the lid up. Not the seat, though, which is progress of a sort.
Then I glance into the shower cubicle in preparation for my ablutions and find a lump of chewing gum (at least I hope it was chewing gum) in the corner and a revolting bundle of suspiciously coarse hair in the drain. That's not counting, of course, the statutory mould in the grouting, the hideous film of soap residue on the walls and the odd sticky effect on the floor.
Oh, and while I'm whingeing, the Brits are bloody useless at building bathrooms. We have central heating in every room in the house except the bathroom. In there we have dodgy windows and cold tiles.
Perhaps I'm strange, but I would have thought the first room on your list of "rooms to install a radiator in" would be the bathroom. You know, given that it's the only room in the house where you're both kitless and soaked at once with any regularity. (Stop that giggling, at the back. I know what you're thinking of, and no, it's neither funny nor original. Yes, I am sure.) Maybe even one of those electric towel racks would be nice, but noooo.... Oh, and I particularly like the way they put the smoke detector just outside.
You know, just outside that room with the deodorant sprays and the steam.
Good, eh?
Where was I?
Oh yes, bloody students.
Yes, so my grand scheme is this:
Compulsory toilet training for those who consistently display an ignorance of this nursery school skill.
The curriculum, as I envision it, includes practical lessons on the design and function of the simple toilet seat, including a basic course on how to lower it and under which circumstances it should be lowered. It also includes a basic introduction to the deployment of the flush, which I realise is an advanced concept for some beginning students.
Next we will cover the rather advanced subject of targeting, aided by a large bottle, a length of garden hose and a dartboard. The course will then conclude with a basic course from housekeeping on how to CLEAN THE BLOODY SHOWER AFTER YOU'RE DONE DRIBBLING BLOODY REVOLTING STUFF ALL OVER IT. And yes, that is the full title of that module.
The course will then conclude with a short practical exam.
