Oh, the humanity!

Mamma just showed me a packet of lavender... um... stuff that she'd bought. The front of the pack proudly proclaims it to contain "LAVENDER Premium Scented Sachet" - but it actually contains a bag of wood chippings that have been sprayed with something that presumably is supposed to smell of lavender but doesn't to anyone who's actually ever smelled real lavender.

But the really egregious bit is the blurb on the back, reproduced here in all its Englishly buggered glory, carriage returns and all:

Hint's: place the sachet where you would like a
Sweet smell. It is suitable for bath-room, toilet,
Living room (to dispel smoke), keep out of reach
Of children and pets. Avoid contact with furniture
And carpets. Avoid direct contact with clothes.

Ghastly, isn't it? And that Grocer's Apostrophe at the start... urgh.