Aaaah, all is right with the world again

It's been a while since I had a really good scam mail, but this morning I found this in my Junk folder. You'd have thought Ban Ki-Moon could afford a secretary who, y'know, knew some English.

*Attention, Beneficiary

*
*Due to the petitions received by the UN, I Secretary-General Ban ki-moon
from all over the continent in regards to the fraudulent activities going on
in the West Africa sub-region with security's agent and diplomats who has
been delaying people's funds, consignment and valuables in their custody and
demand outrageous fees to get their consignment released to them. *
*We have been having meeting for 7 months which ended days ago with the
former Secretary-General (Hon. Kofi Annan) to the UNITED NATIONS. However,
We went to the African head quarters in NIGERIA on the 15TH JULY 2009 and
set up this committee with sole aim of settling all these anomalies and due
to that we are contacting you today in that regards *
*This email is to all people that have been scammed in any part of the
world, the UNITED NATIONS have agreed to compensate them with the sum of US$ 1,300,000.00 This includes every foriegn contractors that may have not
received their contract sum, and people that have had an unfinished
transaction or international businesses that failed due to Government
problems etc. *
*We found your name in our list and that is why we are contacting you,
these have been agreed upon and have been duly signed. *
*Therefore, we are happy to inform you that an arrangement has perfectly
been concluded to effect your payment as soon as possible in our bid to be
very transparent. *
*However, it is our pleasure to inform you that your ATM Card Number; 90210500 1100 4432 has been approved and upgraded in your favor. *
*Meanwhile, your Secret Pin Number will be available as soon as you confirm
to us the receipt of your ATM CARD. *
*The ATM Card Value is $1,300,000.00 USD Only. You are advised that a
maximum withdrawal value of US$4,000.00 is permitted daily. *
*And its is duly inter-switched and you can make withdrawal in any location
of the ATM Center of your choice/nearest to you any where in the world. We
have also concluded delivery arrangement with our accredited courier service
Company to oversee the delivery of the ATM Card to you without any further
delay. *
*Be informed that your response would be by telephone or through email
Only. *
*Any further delay will be the pleasure of the UNRC to use your fund to
help the people who have been displaced in Darfur, Sudan Africa which you
can see it in this site www.savedarfur.org and the Tsunami's victims in
Asia. So you are hereby advice to forward to this office Director ATM SWIFT
CARD Department Therefore, you should send him your full Name and telephone
number/your correct mailing address where you want him to send the ATM to
you. *
*Contact Person Apostle (Dr.) Idris amadu immediately for your *
*ATM SWIFT CARD: *
*Person to Contact Apostle: (Dr.) Idris amadu *
*Email: dr.idris_amadu@yahoo.com
** We are working according to the constitution binding this *
*committee as well as helping the less privilege through this means. You
will be required to contact the above mentioned institution via telephone or
email. Hoping to hear from you as soon as you receive your ATM *
*1.YOUR FULL NAME ................ *
*2.PHONE AND FAX NUMBER............... *
*3.ADDRESS WERE YOU WANT US TO SEND THE ATM CARD............... *
*4.A COPY OF YOUR IDENTITY ATTACHED TO E-MAIL. *
*Regards, *
*Mr. Ban Ki-moon *
*Secretary-General (UNITED NATIONS)

Awww, bless.

As Tasha said - "Is there anyone who actually believes this horseshit?"

Oh wow, two in one day...

It's like buses; you wait and wait, and then two good 'uns come along at once. At least this one went to the trouble of setting up an email account that matches the character, even coming from a proper .co.za domain. Thing is, though... Zuma isn't a Zimbabwean-white-farmer name. It's the surname of the South African president, but he's a Zulu, so I don't think that counts.

PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL
FROM DAVID ZUMA
JOHANNESBURG
SOUTH AFRICA
TEL:+27-73-465-5139


Dear Sir/Madam,

My name is MR.DAVID ZUMA, the eldest son of MR FRANK ZUMA,of ZIMBABWE. It might be a surprise to  you where I got your contact address, I got it from the South African Information Network Online (SAINO)/South Africa Trade Centre.And it is coming to you with good intention. During the current crises against the farmers of Zimbabwe by the supporters of our President,ROBERT MUGABE to claim all the white owned farms in our country, he ordered all the white farmers to surrender their farms to his party members and their followers.

My father was one of the great and best farmers in the country and knowing that he did not support the president’s political ideology, the president’s supporters invaded my father’s farm burnt down everything, shot him and as a result of the wounds sustained, he became sick and died after five days.  And after his death, I with my younger brother decided to move out of Zimbabwe for the safety of our lives to South-Africa.

BUT, before he died HE WROTE HIS WILL, which reads "(MY BELOVEED SON ,I WISH TO DRAW YOUR ATTENTION TO THE SUM OF ($18.5,000,000=00). MILLION U.S DOLLARS WHICH I DEPOSITED IN A BOX WITH A SECURITY COMPANY IN JOHANNESBURG (SOUTH-AFRICA). IN CASE OF MY ABSENCE ON EARTH CAUSED BY DEATH ONLY".  You should solicit for reliable foreign partner to assist you to transfer this money out of SOUTH AFRICA for investment purpose.

I deposited the money in your name and it can be claimed by you alone with the deposit code. your mother has all the documents.  Take good care of your mother and brother."
From the above, you will understand that the lives and future of my family depends on this money as much, I will be very grateful if you can assist us.  I with my younger brother are now living in South-Africa as POLITICAL ASYLUM SEEKERS and the financial law of SOUTH-AFRICA does not allow ASYLUM SEEKERS certain financial rights to such huge amount of money .In view of this, I cannot invest this money in South-Africa,hence I am asking you to assist me transfer this money out of South-Africa for investment purposes. For your efforts, I am prepared to offer you 20% of the total fund, while 5% will be set aside for local and international expenses and 75% will be kept for me and my family .

Finally modalities on how the transfer will be done will be conveyed to you once we establish trust and confidence between ourselves. Looking forward to your urgent reply .For detailed information, Please contact me on my direct line + 27-73-465-5139,or my e-mail address.


NOTE: THE KEY WORD TO THIS TRANSACTION IS ABSOLUTE CONFIDENTIALITY AND SECRECY. THIS TRANSACTION IS 100% RISK FREE. YOUR URGENT RESPONSE WILL BE HIGHLY APPRECIATED.  

All the best,

DAVID ZUMA

(FOR THE FAMILY)

Aaaah, I enjoyed that one. :-)